How to Support Bisexual Friends: A Guide for Allies and Advocates

Bisexuality is often misunderstood or overlooked, both within and outside the LGBTQ+ community. Friends who identify as bisexual can face unique challenges, including stigma, erasure, and lack of acceptance. As allies and advocates, offering our support is crucial to creating a more inclusive environment. This comprehensive guide will delve deep into actionable steps you can take to uplift and empower your bisexual friends, showcasing the importance of understanding, empathy, and advocacy.

Understanding Bisexuality

Before we dive into actionable support strategies, it’s critical to understand what bisexuality encompasses. The American Psychological Association defines bisexuality as “an attraction to people of more than one gender.” It is a valid sexual orientation that deserves recognition and respect.

Common Misconceptions and Challenges

1. Biphobia and Bi-Erasure

  • Biphobia manifests as prejudice against bisexual individuals, often leading to discrimination or exclusion. This can occur in various forms, including assumptions that bisexual people are confused or indecisive.
  • Bi-erasure refers to the tendency to overlook or dismiss the existence and legitimacy of bisexuality, often emphasizing monosexual identities (homosexuality or heterosexuality).

2. Mental Health Concerns

Numerous studies, including a report by The Williams Institute, indicate that bisexual individuals face higher rates of mental health issues, including anxiety and depression, primarily due to the stigma they encounter. Being a supportive friend can play a significant role in mitigating these effects.

How to Be an Ally: Actionable Steps

Being an effective ally involves more than showing support; it requires knowledge, action, and a willingness to listen. Here are crucial strategies to support your bisexual friends:

1. Educate Yourself

Take the time to understand bisexuality, its history, and its societal implications. Familiarize yourself with terminology:

  • Bisexual: Attraction to more than one gender.
  • Pansexual: Attraction regardless of gender, often seen as a broader term.
  • Fluidity: Recognition that sexual orientation can change over time.

Utilize resources like the Human Rights Campaign or GLAAD for accurate information.

2. Create Safe Spaces

Encourage open conversations with your bisexual friends. Ask them how they identify and what they need from you as a support system. A safe space can be physical (like your home) or emotional (being available to listen without judgment).

3. Use Inclusive Language

Language is powerful. Use "partner" instead of "boyfriend/girlfriend" to avoid assumptions about gender. This small shift can make a significant difference in how included and understood a bisexual individual feels.

Example:

  • Instead of saying, “You and your girlfriend must…,” say, “You and your partner must…”

4. Support Their Relationships

Understand that bisexual individuals can face challenges in relationships, such as the idea that they are less committed. Be an advocate for their relationships by treating their partners with respect, regardless of gender.

5. Challenge Stereotypes and Discrimination

Stand up against biphobia and bi-erasure when you encounter it, either in public or private discussions. Here’s how:

  • Speak out when you hear negative comments.
  • Engage with friends who have misunderstandings about bisexuality.
  • Lead by example, showing that acceptance benefits everyone.

6. Be Patient and Listen Actively

Every bisexual individual has a unique story. Be prepared to listen without imposing your views or opinions. Allow your friends to share their experiences and feelings, expressing empathy and understanding.

7. Participate in LGBTQ+ Events

Attend events such as pride marches, workshops, or discussions focused on bisexuality. Your presence can signal to your bisexual friends that you are an active ally and advocate for their experiences.

8. Combat Internalized Biphobia

Understand that bisexual individuals can also internalize societal biphobia. Provide reassurance and validation when your friend shares their experiences, helping them recognize their worth and identity.

The Role of Advocacy

As an ally, you can take a step further by becoming an advocate for bisexual rights. Here’s how you can get involved:

1. Join or Support LGBTQ+ Organizations

Engage with local or national organizations that advocate for bisexual visibility and rights, such as the Bisexual Resource Center. You can volunteer, attend meetings, or donate to show your support.

2. Use Your Privilege Wisely

If you identify as heterosexual or homogeneous, special attention is needed. Use your voice to amplify bisexual issues. Share articles, bring awareness to social media, and educate those around you.

3. Engage in Meaningful Conversations

When appropriate, engage in conversations that bring visibility to bisexual issues. Whether it’s at family gatherings or social events, addressing the importance of understanding bisexuality can help reduce stigma and encourage acceptance.

Conclusion

Supporting your bisexual friends is more than a duty; it’s an opportunity to contribute to a more inclusive society. By educating yourself, promoting open conversations, and standing up against discrimination, you can create lasting, supportive relationships with your bisexual friends. Your advocacy can lead to an environment where all orientations are embraced, understood, and celebrated.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. What should I do if I’m not sure how to support my bisexual friend?

Start with an open conversation. Ask them what they need and how you can support them in their journey.

2. How can I encourage my bisexual friend when they are feeling down?

Listen actively and show empathy. Share that their feelings are valid and remind them that seeking professional help is completely okay if needed.

3. Is it proper to assume someone is bisexual if they have dated both genders?

No, it’s essential to respect an individual’s self-identification. Don’t make assumptions; let them share their identity with you.

4. How can I respond to biphobic comments from others?

Politely challenge the remarks by asserting that bisexuality is a valid identity. You can also explain why the comment is harmful, taking care to maintain a respectful dialogue.

5. What are some resources for learning more about bisexuality?

Explore online platforms like the Human Rights Campaign, GLAAD, and community centers focusing on LGBTQ+ issues, as they offer valuable information and support resources.


Being an ally to bisexual individuals is a journey of understanding, compassion, and advocacy. The actionable steps outlined in this guide can help you become a stronger advocate and ally, building a world where bisexual friends feel valued, understood, and supported.

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